Passenger, 3rd row: (checks parachute, secures jump suit, and sips complimentary champagne)

Reporter, 10th row, window seat: “The latest poll says that the people who voted for this pilot still like her.”

Passenger, 15th row, aisle seat: “She isn’t MY pilot. I voted for the other one.”

Passenger, 33rd row, center seat: “We might crash, but at least I won’t die sitting next to a Radical Islamic Terrorist. Or a drug addict.”

Passenger, 33rd row, aisle seat: (signals flight attendant for another scotch and belches loudly)

FAA chairman, in the flight tower: “Gosh, who was responsible for checking her license?”

Russian, at the airport: “They chose their pilot by popular election? Idiots!”

European, at the airport: (shakes heads sadly and rebalances his stock portfolio to eliminate shares in the airline)

Xi Jinping, on the phone with Kim Jong Un: “So how are those missiles coming along?”

Vladimir Putin, in the corporate HQ for a rival airline: (waits patiently for news of the crash)